Could this weird time of Covid and lockdown be a gift.
Many clients I meet talk of pressures, stress, poor work-life balance and the like. I believe the pressures that drive and stress us are never going to go away or stop, indeed as we progress in our careers they inevitably grow. Perhaps the challenge for us is not in managing the pressures, but managing ourselves in amongst the pressure.
I recently went on a ‘retreat’ and found the experience fulfilling and re-juvenating! It was an unexpectedly good experience, so I thought I’d share a few thoughts arising…
A retreat!
The version of retreat I attended was called a ‘Crossroads retreat‘, designed for people who want to take stock of their lives and make choices about the ‘next phase’. A variety of folk attended the retreat including an MD of a healthcare business, a Partner at a consulting firm, an Account Manager at Outsourcing Business and the leader of a youth charity.
The idea of a retreat is not something new. Practiced by monks as a part of their religious practice for centuries, I had assumed it was the preserve of ‘Christians’. How mistaken I was… Though it was held a monastery in Bedfordshire and we were catered for by Brother John in a simple, plentiful style, it was about people and their lives, not religion.
How did it work?
Prior to arriving we were asked to contemplate our ‘threshold’ question. What with me turning 58 this year, and facing the challenges of the Covid slowdown, financial and business pressures, my question was about how I wanted to live the next 5 years, be successful and feel less stress (no big ambitions then!).
Over the course of 2 days, we were asked to address a number of open questions:
- How did I get here?
- What do I really want?
- What would different look like?
- What are my core strengths?
- What do I want to take away with me and commit to?
| Time to reflect… |
We explored these one question at a time, following a simple process of reflection and what I call ‘witnessed talking’. (This is simply where the individual is given the space and time to talk through and explore their thoughts, doubts, hopes, fears with a colleague(s) who has no vested interest other than to support them.)
This was all done in an atmosphere of mutual respect and quiet interest borne out of human care. We also had space to walk and be alone, unhurried in our thoughts.
And then….
The retreat helped me make more sense of my situation and brought clarity to my wants, my needs and preferences. It brought out some truths about my family, the fathering I give my sons and the love I show my wife. It helped me gain perspective over my real, and imagined, business and economic worries. It calmed me.
Fundamentally, nothing changed, but my inner turmoil and questioning settled differently, leaving me feeling more in control, clearer about my responsibility and purposeful in living and working as I want.
For something so simple, it was powerful for all concerned.
So what?
In this busy, 24/7 world we have developed, how useful for business leaders, politicians, parents, headmasters would it be to simply slow down and take some time to re-organise their thoughts and priorities? …. and yet how often do we do it?