There are many young folk struggling to find their way who would benefit from a little bit of time, attention and care. A few stats:
- ~3/4 million or ~11% 16-24 year olds are NEET (Not in Education, Employment or Training) with 31k joiners in the summer of 2018 (ONS, February 2019 report).
- 57% amongst the 16-24 NEET population having depression, learning or mental health issues
- 75k children <18 in England are ‘looked after’ by local authorities; increasing 4% pa; 9,200 left care after turning 18 in 2018
- suicide and ‘accidental poisoning’ are the biggest cause of death of men and women aged 20-30
Mentoring, My story
Recently, I had the pleasure of being introduced to ‘Jermaine’ (not his real name), a young 2nd generation black man who’s lived in sheltered accommodation since 15. He’s clearly had a very different childhood from mine, kicked out of a broken home with one sibling and little money. Rebelling against the low grade clerical nature of schooling and exams, he is now 20 something with few paper qualifications, limited work experience and a narrow life experience. Living where he does, he’s surrounded by people like him in area of low economic activity, wealth and expectation.
Coming from this stable you might expect Jermaine to be troubled in some way. However he is one of the brightest young chaps I know, energetic, enthusiastic, delightfully optimistic and ambitious. Some might call him naive, but he wants to be an entrepreneur, to break out from the norms he has known all his young life and be a ‘success’. As a product of the internet age he wants to build a social media marketing business. Like a revving car climbing muddy track, progress and direction are uncertain. With the current inclement weather, poor tyres and no assistance at hand, gathering momentum is particularly tough for him.
I don’t know about you, but I have been lucky in my life and career. I chanced to be born into a stable, middle class home, graduated from University with a good degree and progressed into blue-chip employment, before starting my own business. In good health, I live with my family in middle class Warwickshire, working and socialising with ‘PLU‘ (people like us!). I’ve had a few minor set-backs along the way yet, other than a couple of short periods between jobs and one redundancy, I’ve experienced no real hardship. It’s all felt pretty straight forward for me.
It dawns on me that I have little idea of what it’s like for those born into less privileged circumstances …
Mentoring; What do we do?
Every few weeks we meet somewhere easy to get to. We drink tea and talk. Jermaine describes the journey he has taken since last we met, what he’s learned and achieved, the knock-backs and opportunities encountered. We discuss questions he has and explore his hopes, dreams and areas he may not have thought of. I listen interestedly, questioning, challenging and encouraging. It’s a simple conversation with the simple offer of care and time. We laugh and enjoy each-others company. I learn about his life and the trials and tribulations that interrupt my sleep come into perspective.
I see my mentoring role as being that of the trusted Uncle. The chap who’s there to help, with love, without judgement to be alongside Jermaine in his journey.
Success?
As for what the mentoring has achieved, I guess you’d have to ask Jermaine for the detail. Suffice it to say he now lives in private rented accommodation. Has undertaken a successful work placement with a large utilities provider and is talking more confidently about setting up his own business. We continue to meet periodically, something we both find rewarding and of value. He’s not the finished article, then again who is? No doubt he will face further set backs and challenges.
In terms of being alongside and helping another person a few steps along their journey it has been an honour. It ranks as one of the most rewarding experiences of my career.
Mentoring makes a real difference.